1-05-2026 5:07am

Florida Man Goes to Tallahassee : 10 Weird Bills that the Florida Legislature will Consider in 2026

Tidings Staff Editor

The 2026 Regular Session kicks off Tuesday, January 13, 2026. If you only follow the heavyweight fights, you miss the true Florida flavor of the process. Leaving it to Tidings Media to bring you some stupid shit our legislators want to do, because it's not living in Florida if the legislature doesn't pass hundreds of new laws. In 2025 alone, Florida passed into law 253 new laws for you, the citizens who pay for this. I am sure that's what the founding fathers had in mind when they penned the Declaration of Independence. They wanted to legislate your use of plastic straws.

Because while everyone is arguing about the headlines, the Legislature is also built for something else: the niche bills, the odd fixes, the special-interest cleanups, and the “who even asked for this?” proposals that can move quietly.

This list is for readers who want the weird. The obscure. The stuff that tells you what is really happening when the cameras are pointed somewhere else. Most of these will probably never make it across the goal line, but you never know what special interest money can buy.

1) Straw Wars, State Edition

SB 958 takes a simple object, drinking straws and stirrers, and turns it into a statewide battle over local rules. It limits what cities and counties can regulate unless their regulations meet specific requirements.
Why it matters: If you live in a city with a straw ban, this is Tallahassee reaching down into local ordinance territory. Preemption, anyone? To hell with local control. We want to control your straws at a State level.

2) The Flamingo Coup

HB 11 proposes switching Florida’s official state bird from the mockingbird to the American flamingo, while also naming the Florida scrub-jay as the official state songbird.
Why it matters: Symbolic bills are not always harmless. They attract speeches, identity politics, and surprising alliances. You can rest assured someone will be organizing a letter writing campaign to legislators about this. The flamingo lobbyists approve.

3) Music Therapy Gets a License

HB 829 builds a licensure structure for professional music therapists, complete with an advisory committee and title protections.
Why it matters: Licensing bills usually show up because a profession is organizing hard behind the scenes, and because someone wants a legal wall between “trained” and “anyone can say they do it.” We can't allow all of these cottage industries to operate in the Land of the Free.

4) Vets Must Tell You About Outside Prescriptions

HB 89 requires veterinarians to disclose a client’s right to receive a written prescription or have it filled outside the veterinary establishment, with acknowledgements and posting requirements.
Why it matters: This reads like an industry dispute finally making it to the Capitol. If you have ever felt locked into buying pet meds from one place, this bill is aimed right at that. By the way, if you are still vaccinating your pets, did you know you can get the vaccines at Tractor Supply?

5) Postsurgical Recovery Homes Become a Regulated Category

HB 81 creates licensure requirements and minimum standards for postsurgical recovery homes.
Why it matters: Most people do not know this world exists until there is a scandal. Bills like this can move under the radar because the public does not have a clear picture of the problem until something goes wrong. This one might actually make sense.

6) Surgical Smoke, Real Issue, Weird Name

HB 93 requires hospitals and ambulatory surgical centers to adopt and implement policies requiring smoke evacuation systems during certain procedures.
Why it matters: It sounds like a punchline until you realize it is an occupational health and facility compliance fight, and those fights have money attached to them. BTW, have you ever noticed that doctors tell you that X-rays are totally safe for you, and then hide from the X-rays themselves? You'd think that the doctors would be interested in putting in surgical smoke evacuation systems for their own well being. But, apparently we need to pass a law about this.

7) Volunteer Armed Security at Religious Organizations

HB 95 creates an exemption for certain people providing voluntary armed security services at churches or other religious organizations, if they meet specified requirements. This lets churches arm their security teams without requiring those lethal pulpit defenders to be State licensed.
Why it matters: This one is guaranteed to produce intense committee testimony. It blends worship, safety, firearms, and regulation into one bill, and nobody stays quiet when those topics collide. Get your popcorn out and try and stream a live hearing on this one. You're going to hear "Separation of Church and State" 1,000 times from people who don't understand the phrase, or where it comes from.

8) Swimming Lesson Vouchers Get Tweaked

HB 85 revises the age requirements for kids receiving vouchers through the Swimming Lesson Voucher Program.
Why it matters: Programs like this sound simple, but eligibility rules determine who gets help, who gets left out, and how the state measures prevention versus cost.

9) Pool Safety Rules for Rentals, With Criminal Penalties

HB 79 requires certain rental properties to be equipped with specified pool safety requirements and includes a criminal penalty.
Why it matters: Florida has a lot of pools and a lot of rentals. Add criminal penalties and you have a bill that can spark a loud backlash from property owners, landlords, and the short-term rental ecosystem.

10) The Boater Badge on Your Driver License

SB 900 revises when the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles must include a symbol on driver licenses and identification cards tied to a lifetime boater safety identification card.
Why it matters: This is Florida bureaucracy at its most Florida, turning a boater credential into something that shows up on your license.

What I’m Watching in Week One

Bills like these tell you who is organized, who is connected, and who is moving quietly while everyone else is distracted.

In the first week of session, I’m tracking three signals:

Fast committee scheduling: If one of these gets an early agenda slot, it is not a novelty. There are a couple of worthwhile bills in this list of crazy.
Amendment magnet potential: Small bills sometimes become vehicles for bigger agendas, especially anything tied to rentals, healthcare compliance, or licensing. Sometimes these strategists bite things off in smaller pieces. That's the key here. It may seem dumb today, but that's because you and I can't see the whole white board where these sequences are drawn up.
Who shows up to testify: A packed room means the bill has real stakeholders, even if the public has never heard of it. And, sometimes it's fun to watch the unemployed purple hairs come speak purely for entertainment value. There's a couple issues on this list that will draw people that remind me of the bar scene from the original Star Wars.

This is how “nobody is talking about it” becomes “how did this pass?” These are just 10 of the hundreds of bills you will probably never read about anywhere else.

Footnotes

The Florida Senate calendar (Regular Session convenes Tuesday, January 13, 2026). Florida Senate
SB 958, Local Regulation of Drinking Straws and Stirrers (bill page). Florida Senate
Reporting context on SB 958 and local straw rules. People.com
HB 11, Designation of the State Birds (bill page). Florida Senate
HB 829, Music Therapy (bill page). Florida Senate
HB 89, Veterinary Prescription Disclosure (bill page). Florida Senate
HB 81, Postsurgical Recovery Homes (bill page). Florida Senate
HB 93, Protection from Surgical Smoke (bill page). Florida Senate
HB 95, Security Services on Religious Premises (bill page). Florida Senate
Florida House “Why I Filed This Bill” explanation for HB 95. Florida House of Representatives
HB 85, Swimming Lesson Voucher Program (bill page). Florida Senate
Florida House “Why I Filed This Bill” explanation for HB 85. Florida House of Representatives
HB 79, Water Safety Requirements for the Rental of Residential Property (bill page). Florida Senate
SB 900, Boating Safety (bill page). Florida Senate